Oh Mighty Editor In The Sky ...
The lament of a former newspaper designer/copy editor
Oh Mighty Editor In The Sky!
Why didst thou forsake me?
Ending my run making newspapers by
allowing the evil corporate overlords to violate
the sanctity of journalism.
Was it that I used your name in vain ...
nightly
because the devil reporters gave me
more words than I could handle?
I would say, "Let there be more space!"
And lo! I would perform a miracle,
making their copy fit.
Was it because I suggested I was godlike,
making space where once there was none, then
demanding the content makers bow before me
or at least buy me a snack?
Was it that I made jokes about only getting 3 inches
when I was promised 10?
Was it because of that time I sniffed
the Magnum Sharpies with Layne?
Was it because I wished ill upon those who
chomped their snacks near me?
Or, maybe, it has nothing to do with my conduct
in the content room
(even though I did start calling it the content room).
Perhaps I have been punished simply because I made my kid listen to
The Smiths & NPR in the car all those years ago.
In which case, I totally get it. But I digress.
I never even got to yell
"Stop The Presses!"
Because shareholders have done that for us
And I am exsanguinated of the ink that once
coursed through my veins.