If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane
So, I've been applying for jobs the past month. In my rush to beat the crush of journalists recently unleashed on Memphis after the last bi-annual (or is it semi-annual?) employee purge at The Commercial Appeal ("The Purgeoning"), resumes and cover letters have been dashed off that I later discover have tiny little problems that I presume have been the reason I'm not getting any response because who wouldn't want to hire an awkward introvert with the social skills of a bowling shoe?
At any rate, this is particularly heinous because as a former copy editor I purport to be "detail oriented" where words and punctuation and grammar are concerned. The thing is, that hyper-critical eye works best when it is trained on someone else's work. I read my stuff and don't see the typos, I guess because I'm so wrapped up in what I'm trying to say. Actually, according to the article What’s Up With That: Why It’s So Hard to Catch Your Own Typos, that's exactly what's happening. Also, it confirms I am the most brilliant person in this chair. Also, it will explain why this post is likely riddled with errors.
Oh, and then there's the design part. There's a design element on my resume that my brother pointed out might look a tad, er, phallic. Nope, I don't see it, I say. I'm sticking with it, I say. But then, this happened: I nudged one element but didn't look at the big picture. Guess what? After sending it to at least one potential employer, I saw it. That one little nudge took it to full-on penis and I have become a cautionary tale.
These typos and wonky design elements make me look dumb as a box of rocks, but I would venture to say that even worse is looking like a mass murderer. And here is where having a good sense of humor is helpful:
This would be another cautionary tale: Be careful what dummy copy you use during training. Some dipshit just might make it go live and then you find it months later when you Google yourself because you have to update your resume and website and apply for jobs and are wondering what potential employers might find if they were to Google you. This training exercise showed up on the web sites of at least three Gannett properties.
It is important to note that I was not responsible for this. I think my dummy copy was something about the Midtown Broken Glass Festival (thank you, Mr. Wack). No, this was my husband's idea of HILARIOUS, since he knew I'd see it in my training sessions that followed his. Six months it has been on the interwebs. Six months. I had to laugh, because it is pretty funny, but sweet baby jane the timing SUCKS! The former employers had it taken down pretty quick, but even now if you Google me, it lingers in the search results. At least the link is broken. And when I see it, I snicker and tell myself that this is the reason why I haven't received any nibbles, not the penis resume. Stuff like this happens and these days I've just gotta ask: WWJBD? It might be inappropriate, but if I couldn't laugh, I just might go insane.